Ghost Writer
by Loud-Little-Thing
Summary: After the funeral, the audience of the Icha Icha series mourned their loss... Until one day the next instalment arrived on the shelves. Was Jiraiya writing and perving from beyond the grave? SPOLIERS FOR Chap 382


Errr… I couldn't NOT do something after reading chapter 382. and somehow…this came out… Ya mum?

Let's just pretend The whole Sasuke vs Itachi thing fell through…

This will become clearer IF I continue. I have more, but i am confliced avout the ending. it will be a long wait before -or IF- i update people. sorry.

** G h o s t W r i t e r**

* * *

It really was a solum affair.

Not at all what Naruto had wanted. But it was the best Tsunade could do on short notice and with the council breathing down her neck about 'an appropriate audience' and a 'respectful ceremony'.

The days before were uneventful in the village. Naruto constricted himself to his apartment and the training grounds and once or twice he visited the Hokage to support her and the hospital to see his team mates.

The visits were never long because everyone kept offering their 'condolences' and it was such a distasteful word, Naruto thought. And Sakura would follow him around on her shifts and wouldn't stop giving him those doleful miserable eyes that told him she knew he was suffering. And Sai had decided to create a musical version –which he sung at every given opportunity- all about his thoughts about Naruto's 'pitiful' pe-

It was an uneventful couple of days.

So on the day of the funeral, Sakura arrived on Naruto's doorstep dressed in the formal respectful attire and seemed surprised to find Naruto was on time and ready to go and dressed matching.

They walked in silence, collecting more 'condolences' from some of the few villagers who couldn't attend, and so they decided took to he rooftops and travelled in the way mos comfortable to shinobi. It was unlikely they would meet with villagers, or rather

any 'condolences', up here. No shinobi used that word.

Sai found them at the ceremony entrance (without a song thankfully) and Kakashi (only half an hour late) arrived on time to stand with them in the required formation.

Naruto found himself between Sakura and Sai and he spent some time wondering if Sasuke had head of the toad sennin's death.

Tsunade wore the Hokage robe, and Naruto realized it was perhaps the first time she had ever worn the entire ceremonial uniform. Even at the announcement of her new position she had only worn the wide brimmed hat -and she had argued that it didn't suit her.

It only took the better part of an hour to sum up the entire life and accomplishments of Jiraiya. The fifth's voice was loud and solid and Naruto noted Tsunade griping her notes tighter when she read aloud the smallest mentions of his team and his loyalty to Kahona. And he lifted his head and smiled brightly at her when she read the parts he had wanted her to put in. Although his eyes stung.

The rest of the ceremony went as smooth as the council had wanted. No bright lanterns- the kind found in the red light district- as Naruto has suggested. No mention of his camaraderie with his ex-team mate Orocimaru and their accomplishments together before the snake-nin had defected- like Tsunade had wanted. Naruto wasn't allowed to invite the toads- who had puffed out their cheeks when he told them and said they didn't want to attend it and would have their own in respect for there summoner instead.

And there was certainly no mentions of his long running series award accomplish world wide read; Icha Icha series.

Later on, having a late lunch at the ramen stand, Kakashi sighed loudly and mentioned what a pity it was. Putting down his chopsticks and bracing bot hands on the counter. "Such a pity." He sighed and shook his head seriously.

"What is?" Naruto asked absently and stirred his noodles.

"I spoke to Jiraiya not a month ago. He mentioned the next Icha Icha would be one of the greatest he'd written. He had such ideas…"

Naruto gave a glare mixed with disbelief but Sakura beat him to the outrage with a heavy fist to the copy-nins shoulder- which he unfortunately dodged.

"Don't be so disrespectful!" she snapped.

He smiled and waved a hand dismissively at her. "Sakura, Sakura, I say his with my utmost respect. Jiraiya was a great man- and he loved his writing. All sides of a man should be respected for nothing less then what they were." He straightened his jacket. "Well, I hate to rush off after such a big lunch, but I have things to attend to."

She sighed deeply, muttering about the pervert that her sensei was, and turned back to Naruto- who seemed to have frozen leant over his bowl with his food half way to his mouth as he stared blankly ahead.

She frowned. At the idiotic, yet somewhat stunned look on his face. Was he finally going to grieve properly? All this hard solitary training and the way he had shut himself off form everyone lately; it wasn't healthy or like him at all. She laid a gentle hand on his arm and lowered the chopsticks.

"Naruto…" she began softly. The 'i'm so sorry…' talk she had practiced as a medical profession lined up in her throat. It was something all nurses, healers, medic-nin…anyone ever responsible for the heath of someone else; they all learnt it without the aid of text books. It took sincerity and courage.

She took another breath ready to start when he suddenly snapped up straight and leapt to his feet.

"Sorry, Sakura-Chan! I just remembered something! I'll see you later." And then he dashed off into the distance where she saw him take to the roofs in the direction of his apartment.

She sat there blinking for a few moments before she realised both her Sensei AND her team mate had left her with the bill.

* * *

Two days later, Sakura was waiting patiently outside the Hokage's office to talk to her mentor about Naruto. She had been terrible worried for the past few days. She hadn't seen or heard from him and no one seemed to know where he was. He wasn't at his apartment, the training ground or with Kakashi or Yamoto. She was begging to wonder if he was in the village at all and it struck her with anxiety. What if he had run off to fight the Akatsuki in revenge for his late sensei? What if he'd run off to find Sasuke again? What if he had just run away!?

If anyone knew where he was; it was Tsunade.

So Sakura waited patiently just as Shizune had asked her too as she ran past with an arm load of files. Tsunade was busy and she would be done soon.

Fifteen minute later the door to her office opened and a small man with skin that reminded Sakura of old parchment came out. He nodded back to the office and then shut the door and nodded politely to her- which she returned with a small smile.

He'd barley disappeared round the corner before she leapt the door and knocked urgently.

She heard Tsunade's voice call out form inside. "Come in."

She came in, shut the door behind her and rushed to the desk where the blond woman sat back in her chair. Half hidden by paperwork and the fainted blush on her cheeks from the sake she sipped. She raised a fine brow at her student's entrance.

"Yes, Sakura?"

She swallowed thickly and tried to calm her heart. "Naruto's-"

"Hi Sakura-Chan."

She spun round and started openly at the blond boy who sat cross legged on the couch, surrounded by boxes and mountains of paper. He gave her a smile and she felt her worry recede and then her anger rise.

She took one step in his direction and gave him a good hard jaw breaking smack.

"That's for leaving me with the cheque!" she snapped.

"Ow! I didn't mean too! I'm sorry!" He moaned and nursed his sore head. "I'll pay you back you know. You didn't need to hit me."

"What was it you were after, Sakura?" Tsunade cut in lightly.

Sakura took a look at the paper walls surrounding them both. And it hurt how obvious it was that they were organizing Jiraiya's affairs. Bills, contacts, wills… Of course Naruto had been here all this time! With the Hokage. Fine and adjusting to his loss. Helping her mend alongside...

"Um, never mind." She answered quickly and busied her hands fixing her hair. "It…it wasn't important."

Tsunade raised her other brow and smiled faintly. "Well then, mind getting me some more sake. We still have a few hours ahead of us."

"Oie. You had enough Baa-Chan!"

"Quiet Gaki. I can drink whatever-and how much- I like."

Sakura nodded quickly and rushed off to do the task. She didn't join Naruto in arguing the already tipsy woman in favour of getting out of the office to hide her embarrassed blush.

When she joined them later Naruto told her he'd inherited a 'a bunch'a useless crap' from his old mentor and she spent the next part of the next few hours helping organize their job. And afterwards she let Naruto take her out for ramen- as payment for abandoning her last time.

* * *

Two months later found them in the training grounds and Kakashi was forcing team seven through some "ANBU level tactics" in preparation for the next mission. It was a simple courier mission to rock. But the threat of the Akatsuki had risen, and carrying Naruto in the team meant they were partly a liability to their village and their missions. So they were doing everything in their power to strengthen themselves. It seemed every day was growing shorter and everyone could feel the anticipation building in the air like thunder. Something was going to happen soon.

Naruto, Sai and Sakura were currently being forced to tag team each other with a scroll while Yamato and Kakashi tag teamed to steal it off them. And Naruto had been given strict restrictions: NO shadow clones.

And he'd pouted before smirking. "You make it sound like that's my only trick sensei."

They were having a break and patching up the scratches and bruises they'd given each other, when a chunin waving his arms excitedly above his head came crashing through the forest. "Kakashi! Hatake Kakashi!"

The Jounin cocked his head to the side a little and raised a brow. Judging by the mad smile plastered on the chunin's face it was not a matter of life or death and they allowed themselves to relax.

Kakashi met him a little ways away but even at a distance the man's excitement was clear in his voice. They'd spoken- or rather the chunin had ranted for a solid minute before he must have made sense. Because without a word or even a glance back, their sensei took off into the trees at en emergency speed with the chunin not far behind.

They all stood around dumbly, having watched curiously, turned into bewilderment and exchanged looks asking each other silently for an explanation.

When everyone had shrugged at least once they took off after their run away sensei.

Surprisingly, it wasn't so hard to find him.

Kakashi was wedged in between a baker and another shinobi somewhere in the front of a mob and they were _all_ jumping about in the most exuberant display of what could only be taken as joy.

Team seven stood on the roof of the bookshop looking down with blank faces as the mob fought and shouted at each other and all with large smiles of their faces.

"What…" Yamato gathered all his cognitive power too state.

The rest of the team nodded in agreement.

A few minutes later Kakashi appeared beside them. Looking a little dishevelled but not at all caring as he hugged a small package to his chest lovingly.

It was Sai who asked first. A little less blank faces then usual.

"What is going on?"

The copy-nin looked up as if he hadn't notice them and looked between them and his package for a little longer before he smiled.

"The new Icha Icha book is in!" he replied brightly.

It took a little longer to process the words but Naruto did eventually and his first reaction was to continue to stare dumbly for a moment longer. The next was the pounce on the man (who he decided he could never call his sensei again and was ashamed he ever had) and fight him for the little brown square of questions that Kakashi held on too so dearly. When Kakashi refused to relinquish it (his response came in the form of a hard kick to the stomach and a blow to the head) Naruto stuck a hand into the crowd and ripped one out of the hands of a rather shocked and horrified vendor.

Sitting cross legged on the gutter edge, Sakura, Sai and Yamoto crowded around him and he ripped it open (it was clear Kakashi would not share his with them either).

Once the packaging layer was removed Naruto shared some more, turned it over, felt the weight of it in his hands… yes. It was a book. And the cover certainly looked like it belonged to the scandalous Icha Icha series… and yes… in bold embossed lettering were the words:

Come Come Battlegrounds

Written by The Great Jiraiya

"What The Fuck?!"

* * *

Oh, I dunno… Oh look! A change in conversation!

Hands up if you want more. Guns out if you don't get it.

In all hounesty- dont expect an update soon anyone!


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